Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Day 11 &12 Live by the sword...

Day 11

Coffee, yogurt

Big salad: mixed greens, cauliflower, carrots, Balsamic dressing

Iced coffee

Goat cheese and smoked salmon on water crackers

Smoked organic turkey and avocado and greens on a roll.

Fell apart after dinner:
Blue corn chips--but hey, they're oraganic.
Glass of red wine.

Did not keep track of water, but I know I did not drink enough.

Day 12

I am thinking a lot about not only my physical health in regards to dance, but of my emotional health. I have been dealing with a situation that I have regarded as less than respectful towards me, and one that is unfortunately all too common in the dance world. As I've been responding to said situation, I realize (again) that too much of my energy goes into this kind of thing.

I have realized through experience that it is better to clearly and authentically state my concerns to other dancers rather than allow things to fester. If I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is not right, I now say so. I state boundaries. I know that sometimes this can create drama, as many would rather play political games, but I do not have time for this. Passive aggression is too toxic.

Something that ALisa Starkweather said recently has been echoing in my mind. Something that I have heard before, and will probably need to hear again. That (and I paraphrase) we can choose how offended to become. 


People are often awkward, thoughtless, and self-centered, or sometimes even deliberately disrespectful. We all are at times.

My thoughts are that, when confronted with this, I can say what I mean. I can say what boundary has been crossed.

Then I can let it go.

The question isn't whether or not to continue to struggle, or react, etc. The right questions are: what do I want to focus on? What aspects of my art do I feel called by the divine to focus on, to put energy into? what does my soul desire?

We all have ego. and this is as it should be. Ego is what gets us up in the morning, it is what drives us to strive, to get better, to put ourselves out there, continue to grow and achieve. It's the Warrior self, and she deserves respect and voice. She is in service to the Soul.

I said my piece. And I'm glad I did. Now onto the bigger and the better.

I chose a tarot card from my Goddess deck:
6 of Pentacles

This card shows 3 women. One is richly dressed, the 2 others are both beggars. The middle woman has a lot, and giving adds to her prosperity.



This morning:
Oraganic honey granola cereal with almond milk.

Pilates: 30 mins
Dance parctice and choreo: 60 mins

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